At the weekend, my husband and I had finally put our fractious baby to bed and were just settling down to a bit of telly – or as I prefer to call it, ‘research’. Since it was a Saturday night, naturally we had a bottle of good red wine and a box of chocs on the sofa between us.
Given that I’d had a pretty horrible night with our daughter and that my husband is afraid of Exhausted-to-the-Point-of-Delirium-Kate, not only were the wine and chocolates my choice, but what was on the box was also of my choosing. (I know, I married well.)
Anyway, like I said, it was research – so we were watching some catch-up about the disgustingly rich and the sorts of weddings they are lucky enough to be able to afford*. This is basically porn for me. I never switch off from my job; not because I am that dedicated (though I do like to think I am, and am not beyond using this as an argument if my husband puts up any protest about yet another wedding programme). No; rather it is because I love everything wedding-y that much. Really, I do. (See what I did there?)
We’d been watching for a few minutes when I had this weird sicky feeling and felt compelled to pause the TV. I turned to my husband to ask him the following question:
‘Is it okay that we’re watching this – even though it is related to my work – given that there are people fleeing Syria terrified for their lives?’
I know, HEAVY, right? I probably should have warned you or something. But neither my id, nor even my superego, informed me that my conscience was about to go all self-righteous on my poor unsuspecting ego. So now you know how I felt.
What is the point of all this intense introspection? Essentially, it made me realise two things:
- My husband is pretty awesome, because on top of allowing me to choose our evening’s treats (and then going out to purchase said goods), he is also very wise.
- We are DAMNED lucky.
So, is it frivolous to enjoy light entertainment (in the name of work, in my case)? Yes.
Is it, therefore, shallow? Perhaps.
BUT – my husband made me see that we are in the fortunate position where it is possible, and the very fact that I stopped to appreciate my luck makes it acceptable. I made peace with the fact that there are others for whom such whimsy will always remain trivial and out of reach; who sadly have far more pressing matters to consider. Sometimes, even, life and death situations.
For those of us lucky enough to be in situations whereby frivolity is our greatest concern? Let it not become a source of stress or vexation.
Appreciate it, enjoy it and be grateful.
And where your wedding is concerned, maybe bear in mind that more important than the event are the fleeting moments – such as that I have just described – when you are able to bare your imperfect soul, only to find yourself being told that actually, you’re not so bad. (Incidentally, I’ve actually written about the things I’d change if I got to have my day all over again. I loved my wedding day, but perhaps this will help you love yours even more.)
*Footnote: Take home from the programme: money does not buy class.