Our First Night Sans Baby

So, last Saturday was our much-anticipated first night of freedom since Pixie disrupted life as we knew it. And as I wrote about on Friday, we were super excited to enjoy some long-overdue quality adult time.

It was the perfect opportunity to go crazy wild and dance until dawn! Or, you know, go modest with dinner. Haha! Give me some credit, we’re not that pathetic quite yet – we saw a movie too! Rock and roll, baby… Rock. And. Roll.

Naturally, we indulged in being temporarily free from the constraints of responsibility. Here’s a synopsis of our evening:

  • Drove Pixie over to Nanny’s house. Hubby and I kept giving each other sidelong glances during the car journey (we were pretty excited, and a little apprehensive).
  • Took Pixie upstairs to become acquainted with her ‘bedroom’, and so we could settle her in.
  • Gasped in panicked horror when I realised I’d not packed Pixie’s favourite bedtime beaker.
  • Breathed a sigh of relief when hubby saved the day by confirming he had

  • Felt like a complete failure as a mother when my mum asked me if I’d packed any books for Pixie… My intention had been to keep her routine as similar to normal as possible – which was now not an option. At this point I was praying that novelty would win over routine. Eek!
  • Felt like a failure as a daughter when my mother mentioned her surprise that I’d not written a list a week in advance to ensure I didn’t forget anything.
  • Felt like a failure as a human being when I remembered I’d also not packed any Sudocrem. (My daughter does not need Sudocrem – she merely has a bit of an obsession with all creams; thus Sudocrem – for her non-existent nappy rash – is yet another vital part of her bedtime routine. I’m not sure whether it would have been worse to deprive her of a physical requirement for its magical properties – or if the mental anguish I was inflicting trumped it. Either way, I was a monster.)
  • Showered Pixie in kisses to make up for being such a terrible mummy.
  • Covered Pixie in more kisses as the guilt threatened to engulf me entirely.
  • Told Pixie I loved her too many times to pull off the casual exit we’d planned; at which point hubby intervened, sharply whispering something about ‘like a plaster’.

  • We set off and I immediately felt a calm wash over me – we were free!First Night Without Baby
  • Nearly had a row with hubby because I (stupidly) thought it might be a good time to mention that if all went well, this could be on the cards every week the night before my work day. #badmove
  • Got home and decided that as we had a couple of hours before we needed to go out, it was the perfect opportunity to pamper myself. Taking full advantage of the peace and quiet, I dusted and hoovered the house top to bottom. It was so relaxing, I just felt so centred afterwards!

  • I took my time getting ready and luxuriated in not having an extra body and limbs vying to undo the good work I was attempting to craft upwards of my neck. Unfortunately there was no wine in the house (a prerequisite to getting ready, no?) – but don’t worry, I totally intended to make up for that later.
  • Dinner was fabulous. Everything was lovely and perfect, and I was completely serene (despite time marching on and no text having arrived to let me know Pixie was sleeping). My phone was even a whole arm’s length away from me – I was bossing nonchalance.
  • Approximately 43 minutes later than ideally scheduled, my phone pinged to confirm Pixie was asleep. Feigning indifference, I quickly fired off a message to make sure all was well.
  • All was not well.
  • I cried. In a restaurant.

It transpired that Pixie was completely fine by the time my mum contacted me – after an hour of crying for me, she’d finally sobbed herself to sleep. I was distraught: my baby needed me and I wasn’t there. Because I was on a frivolous date. Incidentally, that was when I discovered the true feeling of being a terrible mummy.

And so, if you’re wondering whether this joyous post has a purpose, I have a take home message for you (of course!):

You may, on occasion, be temporarily free from the constraints of responsibility. But – make no mistake – you are never free of parenthood.

Also, if you’re feeling exasperated with an overzealous toddler, offload them for just 24 hours and I can assure you when they’re returned to you your patience will be boundless. (I wonder whether this phenomenon can be applied to all relationships? Next time my hubby threatens to leave for a week in ‘jest’, I may just shoo him on his way. I’ll let you know the result.)

Ps. The irony of our car ‘chat’ is not lost on me; and no, it will not be happening anytime soon.

How was your first night sans baby? Was it more successful than ours?

22 Comments

  1. You need this kind of time for yourself. First dinner date I had with Grumpy Boyfriend, I just wanted to go home after dinner while he would have loved staying for another drink. Plus I spent the night talking about baby and asking my partner everything was ok with his mum looking after our babe…#bloggerCLubUK

  2. blabbermama Reply

    Your so hard on yourself. Terrible and mummy shouldn’t be put in the same sentence. I hope you feel better soon it can be so hard when you know your little one cries for you but I bet your little one also loved it when you collected her and no harm was done 🙂 #bloggerclubuk

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Thank you. I felt utterly awful but of course she’s fine. She’s even keen to do it again – just not on the days we ask her, it’s always ‘tomorrow’! ?

  3. I’ve lived this same situation more than once. It’s really tough with a young child to enjoy yourself. But it’s important to have a little quality time with your husband. On the very rare occasion that my hubby & I ever went anywhere, I’d feel so guilty & feel just awful if my baby cried. People would say it’s no harm if they cry but I’d always feel bad. As my kids get older & I look back, it really is no harm for an hour for them to cry. You need to get away for a bit of sanity. If only we could do away with the mommy guilt. Thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK x

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      It’s so easy to be logical – until that instinct kicks in and then logic doesn’t come into it! Haha x

  4. Oh no!! Its so important to have the occasional date night though. My husband and I do not get out together enough either

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      It is important! Usually we have a babysitter after I’ve put her to bed myself… Maybe that’s the way forward!

  5. I’m sorry it ended up being like this for you, this parenting is never easy. The first we left our daughter we put her to sleep first and then disappeared for the evening. This is what we do most of the time now too, I just find its better for everyone until they are older X #bloggerclubuk

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Yes, that’s always been what we’ve done in the past too. We are feeling brave… Oops! X

  6. oh no, I must admit I haven’t had a full night away from my toddler as I know he wouldn’t settle but I also know that there will be a day when he’ll be fine so I’m not i any rush. Hope you’re next ones are better

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Thank you. I don’t know when we’ll try again now!

  7. Tori Gabriel Reply

    It really is impossible to switch off the whole “parent thing”. My hubby and I had a night off and went to our local casino. We circled the carpark three times before realising there wouldn’t be any parent/toddler bays in the casino carpark!

  8. Awww, it’s so hard leaving them, isn’t it? Especially when you found out she was crying. Once, my daughter was sick while staying at my parents’ house and we had to go really early to pick her up. It made me so sad that she had been poorly and we weren’t there. x

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Yes, exactly! Honestly, if my daughter was happy then I’d be totally fine to enjoy our baby-free time. But as soon as I was aware she was crying for me I felt it like a physical ache. X

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