I have in the past been known to be somewhat controversial; for the most part these days I avoid it (though I still share older content of course!). There are several reasons for this:

  • I don’t enjoy making people feel bad, and being provocative inevitably offends someone;
  • I’m learning to be less judgey and more openminded as I get older;
  • I’m actively working on being positive – it’s better for my mental health:

Think Better, Live Better… Feel Better

However, I’m only human. People are still arseholes, and I still get pissed off.

Woman Screaming

So with that in mind, my husband had a brilliant idea: I’m going to introduce an ad hoc series in which I get stuff off my chest in the rant-iest, swear-iest post necessary to purge my outrage at injustices and wanky behaviour – before normal service resumes and my blog returns to a place of calm and tranquility. Because that’s real life. That’s real ME.

Parent and Child Spaces: Think Better

I know this has been done to death and then done some more. But last week something happened in Asda car park that really annoyed me. As I was strapping my daughter into her car seat, a woman beeped me because she wanted to drive into the (fucking massive) space beside us. I ignored her, despite being irritated – I had two hungry and tired kids on my hands so I wasn’t exactly taking my time! But then when I reversed, I had a lightbulb moment:

It wasn’t another parent who should know better; it was an old biddie abusing the parent and child space and showing her impatience at me using the spot I was in for its intended purpose.

Are you fucking kidding me? Who could fail to appreciate how ignorant that is? Well, when I posted about it on my Facebook page, turns out quite a few apparently. And their attitudes REALLY fucked me off. So this is an open letter to them:

How Not to Be An Arsehole: Live Better

If you fall into one of the following categories, then it’s possible you’ll be afflicted with Being An Arsehole…

  • Older generation; apparently forgotten how hard parenting small people can be: Arsehole
  • Had kids before parent and child spaces were a thing; think if you had to manage, so should we: Arsehole
  • Any age; never had kids; believe it was our choice to have kids so we should put up and shut up: ARSEhole
  • White, middle aged man; may or may not have kids; despises all mothers: Guess what? ARSEHOLE

Middle Finger

But don’t worry – I have some great tips to help you overcome Being An Arsehole!

If you feel yourself about to Be An Arsehole, the first step to not Being An Arsehole is to remember that your arrogance, whatever or wherever it stems from, is unfounded. For example:

  • Earning respect is a two way road. It is not automatic for older generations / redundant to those younger.
  • Bitterness is best defused with acceptance and gratitude.
  • A chip on one’s shoulder is best removed with a dose of education.

And finally, patriarchal bullshit has its own special paragraph, because these are really rather sizeable Arseholes.

Parent and child parking spaces are a contentious issue. Here's how not to be an arsehole when parking. #parenting #parentingtips #parentingadvice

How Not to Be An Arsehole When You Believe Women Are Inferior

It’s really just a few pointers for you to keep in mind when pontificating your vile ideas. Ready?

  1. You wouldn’t even fucking be here without a woman giving birth, you utter moron!
  2. The mummy and daughters you worship? I’m going to join the dots for you: when you slate women purely for becoming mothers, or because your misguided opinion is that all women have children solely for the benefits they bring (ahaha fucking ha) – you’re also vilifying your own kin. You don’t get to pick and choose. Who taught you that it’s acceptable to have so little respect for the very people who everyone on this planet owes their life to anyway? Fuck that.

Final Word: Feel Better

And finally, going back for a moment to my recent experience. I just want to answer those who called me arrogant for daring to use a designated space in which to park with my children, and then daring to get pissed off when somebody abusing the space next to me thought she was entitled to be impatient while I strapped my daughter into her seat.

Mother Putting Child Into Car

Let me break this down for those fools in the back. What I was doing was entirely legitimate. To be bitter that women like me deserve a tiny break during what’s the toughest phase of our lives – which, yes, most of us chose – is one thing. I mean, it’s still pretty shitty – you’re Being An Arsehole.

But to take it a step further and believe/endorse that somebody who is not, in fact, legally entitled to even use the space is nevertheless more deserving? Erm, that’s not just Being An Arsehole, it’s being completely fucking stupid. And guess what? It also makes them the arrogant one.

And now I Feel Better. Normal service resumes next week.

Ps. I’m filing these posts under self-care. Feel free to join in in the comments!

Tags

Self-Care

An award-nominated blogger and author, Kate is an experienced breastfeeding advocate, and expert baby sleep chaser. Her writing has appeared on Mothercare, Huff Post, and BritMums.

2 Comments

  1. Deborah dartnell Reply

    Well being careful here as I don’t want to get trolled- I parked in a mother and child space in my local Waitrose- I asked the store manager because all the disabled bays were full and she informed me that it was fine- however on my return a very disturbed mother stood in front of me- glaring so hard I wondered what was wrong- she had decided that I should not have parked there- but as I had checked it out then it was none of her business!

    • I think it’s fine in this situation. A disabled person is the only person who has more right than a parent to have a bigger space that’s closer to the store. However, obviously if there are disabled spaces available then they should be used first.

      As for saying it was none of her business, maybe so – but it’s understandable for her to wonder why and be annoyed if the space is being abused. Which is kind of the point: I very much doubt any parent would resent somebody with a disability using a parent and child space because all disabled ones are used. Anybody else using it IS abusing it; a disabled person is not (unless there are dedicated disabled spaces available).

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