It’s February – how did that happen?! I feel like I blinked, the holidays were gone – and so was an entire month. Usually January drags but this year it’s flown by for me, and it feels like the start of a new chapter: my tiny baby is not so tiny; in fact she’s crawling and very close to cruising, already pulling herself up. It had to happen at some point I guess!

What else? I’ve recently returned to my post as BritMums round-up editor; I left Elfin for the first time at the weekend in order to attend a work event (partners were invited so I couldn’t even leave her with hubby!); and my maternity leave will soon be officially over. Normal life resumes.

Of course one thing I’ve been focused on since the new year is the little project I started with Mim. If you signed up to My Positivity Project last month then hopefully you’ve been filling your happy jar throughout January. How’s that been going for you?

Be More Positive - My Positivity Project

Confession time: I’ve not been doing it. (Sssshhhhhhh – don’t tell Mim!)

Here’s the thing: it’s a habit we need to form, and until we have it’s difficult to remember to do it. It’s not been a deliberate omission, far from it: I’ve felt immense guilt for myself, but also because I’ve felt I’m undermining the entire project which was my own brainchild – embarrassing! And that’s precisely why I’m confessing to you. Allow me to explain…

The whole purpose of the project is to encourage all who take part to first train ourselves into a more positive mindset, and then in time – hopefully – to default to that positive outlook.

Negative feelings (such as guilt) are the absolute opposite of what this project is intended for. And if I’m finding it difficult to commit to my happy jar, then chances are you may be too. And you could be compelled to quit because you’ve already failed, right? Wrong.

I would be so disappointed if anybody gave up on that basis, and I’m not giving up myself simply because of a false start. At the end of the day, forming any new habit takes time, persistence, and often a couple of hiccups along the way. Totally normal and totally not a reason to feel bad or throw the towel in.

And actually, even though I’ve not been filling a tangible happy jar, I have been noting things for a metaphorical one, in my head. I’ve been noticing the good more often, even if I’ve not been physically recording it in written form.

Alternative ‘happy jar’. 😉

Read more: Positivity Archives

So, going forward I will aim to do better with my happy jar. I will try harder to write down my positive moments, even if it’s just a few times a week – because I recognise value in watching the jar fill up. Seeing something often profound reinforces it.

I’m going to note down a few highlights form my month here, to exorcise some of my guilt!

  1. Elfin has stopped waking for hours at a time during the night. This is HUGE.
  2. Pixie has made me incredibly proud a couple of times this month. She’s not perfect – she’s three! – but it’s the best feeling when we have every reason to be proud of our littlies.
  3. I left Elfin for a prolonged period for the first time at the weekend, and managed to enjoy a much-needed date with my husband.
  4. My mum has given me a lot of extra hours in the last month, which has been massively appreciated!
  5. Without being crass, suffice to say I’ve done quite well professionally recently. Which is a great feeling, and a greater source of relief.

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So, don’t be shy to admit if you’ve struggled with this one. I have too, and it doesn’t matter at all. Well, perhaps a little bit. But the important thing is to keep on keeping on. I hope you’ll continue to join our Positivity Project each month! Please pop over to our Facebook group to let us know how you’ve been doing, whether you’ve noticed any improvements in your mood or wellbeing yet – and most all for the support!



An award-nominated blogger and author, Kate is an experienced breastfeeding advocate, and expert baby sleep chaser. Her writing has appeared on Mothercare, Huff Post, and BritMums.

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