Planning, prepping, primping, perfecting; anxiety, nerves, excitement, jubilation; all of these will be experienced in the run-up to your nuptials. Not to mention on the day itself: when you finally make it to the morning of your wedding, the butterflies will likely be nearly overwhelming. So, the least you deserve is the pressure to be removed from your wedding night. Check out these bridal tips for wedding night bliss…

Preparing For Your Guests

As you take a breath amidst the mayhem to sip your Prosecco and see all your months of hard work come together, it’s almost a relief. When the moment comes for you to take one last appraising look in the mirror at your best self before going to meet your hubby-to-be, the magnitude of the occasion will sear your soul.

…Or perhaps it will just feel incredibly surreal, and kind of like a dress rehearsal for the real event. That’s quite a normal reaction to the moment you’ve been working up to for months. So, take a moment. Collect yourself, and breathe in the momentousness of the occasion.

Bride Holding Flowers

And then it’s time to walk up the aisle without tripping on your four inch heels, despite already having necked two glasses of bubbly on a near-empty stomach!  (See point seven here regarding the wisdom of this, and number four here for ideas on how to avoid any potential mishap.)

Wedding Duties

Once you’ve got past the scary poignant service and exchanged your vows, you can begin to enjoy the moment. You’ve been anxious all day, and now that you can relax, all you want is (another) glass of champagne.

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Alas, the photographer is on a schedule, the venue’s kitchen staff are on a schedule, and you and your spouse will be the rope during their game of Tug o’ War. Your guests will (im)patiently mill around, ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing – and disappearing to the bar or the loo just at the precise moment they are required for the shots you’ve pre-arranged.

And all the while you’ll be plastering on a big smile, and desperately wishing for the next half hour to hurry along so you can finally kick back and unwind properly.

(…And then you’ll berate yourself for wishing away such an extravagant and special day.)

Relaxation and Elation

By the time you’re sitting and finally, finally enjoying your much-anticipated wedding breakfast, you can surrender to the joy and excitement – and relax. From here on in, it’s all about enjoying the day you’ve eagerly awaited for so long:

The speeches (cringe); the greeting of the many guests; the first dance; the cutting of the cake.

Wedding Cake

Consummate Sexpectations: The Wedding Night Secret

The above demonstrates a degree of the mixed emotions that your nuptials will bring, and the inevitable exhaustion which surely follows such a rollercoaster day.

Yet when you finally slope off to your beautiful (and exorbitant) bridal suite with your hubby, you have still to experience a night of passion and pleasure.


At last, we reach the object of this post: if you’re anticipating hours of conjugal bliss – think again.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that you and your spouse-to-be are marrying early in your relationship and that that particular aspect of your life is still totally thrilling. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll prove me wrong and enjoy the most incredible carnal knowledge of each other yet!

But for the rest of us who’ve lived with one another’s quirks and foibles for several years or longer, it’s not realistic. And that’s okay – that’s what being married is about.

You have the rest of your lives together during which to relish every aspect of married life.

Bridal Tips For Wedding Night Bliss?

Don’t beat yourselves up if it doesn’t happen!

Instead of planning the perfect seduction of your new husband in your perfect wedding night lingerie (and being fixed on the idea that this is the only perfect ending to your big day), consider taking any pressure and expectations off yourselves before the event. 

And then if sparks fly – wonderful.

But if they don’t? Collapsing in bed and crashing out, whether it be from exhaustion or inebriation, is not a failing of your wedding day. It’s simply another expression of your commitment to spend your lives together, and as such Mr Right doesn’t need to be Mr Right-Now, if you get my meaning.

Besides which, your honeymoon is designed specifically to guarantee you have all the time in the world to make up for any missed shenanigans on your wedding night.

Surely leisurely and sober romance in beautiful surroundings trumps a contrived tradition any day or night of the week? 



An award-nominated blogger and author, Kate is an experienced breastfeeding advocate, and expert baby sleep chaser. Her writing has appeared on Mothercare, Huff Post, and BritMums.


  1. Kate Reply

    Thanks, definitely not a myth from the conversations I’ve been privy to! 😉

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