My daughter, affectionately known as the Devil Pixie (for reasons which will become clear) is a 3ft version of Jekyll and Hyde. One minute she can be the epitome of the angelic toddler; by which I mean any tears are because in actuality she is still just a baby. And, let’s face it – a knock on the head (not from me!) does hurt.

Yet mere moments later can see an altogether different facade: her little brain whirring to select the best course of action to achieve her immediate objective. All too often that tends to involve having Mummy pick her up and carry her to her desired location.

My Devil Pixie’s current modus operandi is, frustratingly, much the same as her response to sustaining a bang to the crown, ie. she cries. And, of course, Mummy’s instinct dictates that Mummy complies. Those less charitable than I may suggest this constitutes manipulation…

Anyhow, in the hope of reclaiming my sanity, I’ve given some thought to this exasperating – but entirely normal – behaviour. And I’ve reached the conclusion that all toddlers operate on one of two levels, namely: Jekyll, or Hyde.

Here are some examples of my daughter in each mode:

  1. Looking me in the eye and then very deliberately releasing mummy’s toothbrush directly over the toilet bowl. (Hyde.)
  2. Trying on mummy’s rings as a special treat, and on being asked to return them calmly twisting away, looking me in the eye – and launching them onto the floor. (Hyde.)
  3. Nicely drinking the warm lo-lo (milk) she requested (in a cafe, ie. in public) and then randomly deciding to open her mouth and allow it to dribble down her chin; onto her pretty dress…and onto Mummy’s lap. Just because. (Whaddaya know? Hyde again.)
  4. Being generally grumpy and whiny. All day. Refusing to eat; displaying almost constant defiance; more grumpiness… And then following a hunch whereby Mummy decides to just check toddler’s temperature – getting a free pass because it transpires she has a temperature of 38.6°c. Oops. (Jekyll.)
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Toddler Jekyll Hyde Tantrum

As Pixie’s mother and primary caregiver, it’s my job to first identify which persona is before me, and then respond accordingly. I’ve devised a little test to help me figure out who I’m dealing with in a given situation, so I know how to handle my toddler:

Distraction

Can I easily distract Pixie with a pretend elephant in the garden, or the promise of some warm lo-lo (milk)?

 

Crocodile tears 

Is she crying? Are there actual tears? Okay, but are they accompanied by a frown that would terrify Rambo? (I can’t complain – that’s my frown.)

 

Tickles 

Is she receptive to tickles? (This one has been known to catastrophically backfire. I recommend only trying this if you suspect Hyde at work.)

 

Food 

Will a biscuit fix the problem? Yes? Hyde. Definitely Hyde.

 

It’s not an exact science, and it’s a work in progress which I’m regularly refining. But for now, it’s the best way I have for navigating these uncharted water(work)s.

As the parent, it’s our responsibility to bridge the gap between these two characters, and in doing so produce a stable and socially acceptable little person.

It’s a difficult line to tread: humouring your poorly child’s every whim is surely the blueprint of a good parent; whilst indulging bad behaviour is unwise at best.

Because of course, those Hyde traits mentioned above are somewhat less appropriate in a fully-fledged adult; in fact, they’re accepted as psychopathic tendencies. And we all know a couple of people who fit that profile, don’t we? (I’m sure their mothers aren’t proud. #justsaying)

Essentially, if we screw this up we may inadvertently raise little tyrants. No pressure, eh? ?

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Toddlers

An award-nominated blogger and author, Kate is an experienced breastfeeding advocate, and expert baby sleep chaser. Her writing has appeared on Mothercare, Huff Post, and BritMums.

16 Comments

  1. MouseMooMeToo Reply

    Oh biscuits are great little lie detectors aren’t they?! Their face when you present them with the biscuit tin will tell you exactly what you need to know. I have a full on Hyde at the moment, and when Jekyll comes out I feel appallingly guilty. Parenting joys! #KCACOLS

  2. Jekyll & Hyde? That’s a new theory I hadn’t come across yet and it does make sense. Now that my two boys are coming up to 5 years old it doesn’t exactly get easier as such, there are just new ways they can at times exhibit some of these traits again. Especially as there are two of them. Chocolate & biscuits seem to work pretty well here too! #KCACOLS

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Gosh, it’s terrible, isn’t it?! I promised I’d never use food as bribery, and for the most part I don’t… But sometimes it’s necessary! Thanks for reading.

    • Kate Tunstall Reply

      Thanks Laura! Glad you liked it – good luck with your one two! ?

  3. Kate Tunstall Reply

    Tell me about it! It’s so hard to know how to deal with them sometimes! There are occasions when I could scream in my daughter’s face (I never actually do this!) and she wouldn’t be the least bit bothered. Yet if I catch her in a more sensitive mood I’ve only to look at her crossly and she’ll dissolve into tears! Funny little things. ?

  4. the frenchie mummy Reply

    Tickle is good. Whatever you say she looks like an angel! I can’t believe the examples you listed… #KCACOLS

  5. Hmm… If only they came with a handbook eh! Hey ho – most people turn out pretty normal though right!? How wrong can we go? *grimaces* #KCACOLS

  6. There behaviour can turn on a knife-edge can’t it?! Totally agree with the biscuits, they sniff out the truth! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

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