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The Millstone of Vulnerability as a Woman and a Mother – Plus an Incredible Giveaway Worth £195!

As a mum to two small people, I understand all too well the need for me-time and a little self-care. I was reading a Facebook post written by the brilliant Gylisa Jayne yesterday, which explained it perfectly:


The fact that we give up so much for our little people, and of course we do it gladly. But it’s haaaaaaard.

And sometimes it nice to be reminded of the person we were pre-children – a woman with tastes and dignity and hopefully even a little class.

Today is not a happy day for me right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be over it by the time I finish the coffee I’m inhaling whilst typing this post out – but I’m a bit disappointed. Okay, a lot: I was invited to a blogger event tonight by my lovely friend Amy, and I’ve been so excited about it. Only when I checked which train we needed to get (Elfin doesn’t leave me yet, obvs), I discovered that there’s a rail replacement service running.

I may sound pathetic – I blimmin’ feel it! – but it all got too much. Travelling alone at night with a small baby made me feel vulnerable. I had overcome that angst so I could do something just for me, but the spanner in the works (no pun intended – I don’t know what’s wrong with the locomotive) has put paid to my plans: The thought of an unfamiliar train station and multiple changes just felt too stressful.

Of course, there’s also the guilt that I’ve let my friend down, something which I hate doing.

 

Vulnerability as a Woman and Mother

Despite having previously worked and lived (alone!) in London, travelled at night on the tube, walked the streets of the city past midnight – and generally been quite foolhardy – I no longer have that fearlessness.

It’s not just about me anymore and I have too much to lose.

The thing is, I don’t want to be a martyr – I want, as far as possible, to live my life around my children. With them for the most part, obviously; but I never want to resent them because they prevented me from doing fun things. So with careful planning and my husband’s support I was vaguely anxious – but mostly just excited to be going to catch up with my blogger friends.

I’ve worked to overcome irrational anxieties which plagued me during my twenties, such as driving long distances to places I don’t know; and so I feel not only disappointed but also a little bit mad at myself for allowing the fear to creep back in. My hubby assures me that on this occasion, I should embrace the feeling of being vulnerable because it’s warranted.

There are many times when I’ve had to explain to my husband that vulnerability as a woman because I just don’t think it applies to men in the same way. For example, I won’t take my car to be washed by a group of men. Silly? Perhaps. Unnecessary? More than likely. But I bet I’m not the only one. Luckily my hubby is very understanding and I *think* he got it in the end. So for him to be relieved at my decision does at least make me feel validated. (Amy, if you’re reading, wishing you all the luck in the world tonight, Sweetheart, and I’m so sorry not to be there.)

Nonetheless, I’m incredibly frustrated that after four months of (hopefully) being (an approximation of) Supermum, still I don’t get my night out.

It wouldn’t even have been a night off; but it would have been something.

And we all deserve that, so while this Cinderella will not be going to the ball, I do think today is as good a time as any to share this fantastic giveaway I’ve been saving up for the ladies in the run up to Christmas. I’m thrilled to be teaming up with Arabel Lebrusan to gift one lucky reader a beautiful pair of drop earrings worth £195!

Inspired by classic lace patterns, the abstract design of the Lace Drop Earrings instantly adds glamour to your night outfit. Sterling silver, plated in 18ct gold – and completely stunning!

For your chance to win, simply enter below!

Vulnerable as a woman

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Would you be comfortable travelling with a baby in London at night?

Why not check out my other giveaways before you go?

Terms and conditions:

  • There is one prize to be won.
  • The prize is non-transferable and no cash alternative is offered.
  • This giveaway is open to UK entries only.
  • Entrants must be age 18 or over.
  • Winner’s details will be passed to the promoter, who is responsible for sending out the prize.
  • Entrants must enter using the rafflecopter widgets embedded within this blog post.
  • All entries will be checked.
  • The winner will be chosen at random from valid entries.
  • The winner will be informed by email or on Twitter. Failure to respond within one week may result in a new winner being drawn.
  • Once drawn, the winner’s name will be displayed on the rafflecopter.
  • Entry into the giveaway will be deemed as acceptance of these terms and conditions.

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97 Comments

  1. Emma

    September 30, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Depends which part of London…

  2. Kayleigh Watkins

    September 30, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    No I wouldn’t personally but I don’t really know the area, just the bad press it has received but terrorism can happen anywhere xXx

  3. tara clover

    September 30, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    No, I am not comfortable on my own so definitely not with a baby

  4. Tracy K Nixon

    September 30, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    No, not really, especially with a baby so wouldn’t do it!

  5. Gorgeousgsmama

    September 30, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    I would never travel back on the train from London past rush hour. Baby or no baby. I must have bait written all over me because I attract every weirdo, stalker going. I’ve alwaya lived by the motto better to be safe than sorry when it comes to travelling. Always buddy up. Text each once you are home if you are the last one left in the cab. Designate a driver. I’m so lucky that I’ve been with hubs all this time and he’s always been around to chauffeur me if I’m stuck.

    So sorry you’ve had to miss tonight. I know what you had planned. Would’ve been such a great event.

    Next time huh. Public transport our way is total shite tbf! It’s the one thing that makes me wanna move back towards London. X

  6. Caroline Hunter

    September 30, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    To be honest, I don’t feel comfortable in London at any time. Therefore, the answer is definitely no!

  7. Sue McCarthy

    September 30, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    I wouldn’t want to be in London on my own at night let alone with a baby, unless I was travelling by taxi

  8. Carolynn Woodland

    September 30, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    No, I am even worried with my husband

  9. fiona waterworth

    September 30, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    Done it in the past, but nowadays it would need to be an emergency and even then by a trusted cab firm

  10. iain maciver

    September 30, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    not really

  11. George Spedding

    September 30, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    I don,t feel comfortable let alone with a baby

  12. Leanne Hansell

    September 30, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    I would not be happy travelling in London at night with a baby.

  13. ruth robinson

    September 30, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    no i wouldnt iv been twice i like it and its such a big place and i wouldnt take my baby out at night in london

  14. Jules Eley

    September 30, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    no i am not!

  15. Giuliana Britti

    September 30, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    London has changed so much and it doesn’t feel as safe as it used to me so I would definitely not take a baby.

  16. anne murray

    September 30, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    No never.

  17. Angela Treadway

    September 30, 2017 at 11:55 pm

    No I would be too worried x

  18. Solange

    October 1, 2017 at 12:17 am

    No, not really.

  19. Claire Lewis

    October 1, 2017 at 3:57 am

    Very nice earrings thanks for the chance

  20. Paula Barker

    October 1, 2017 at 5:43 am

    No, I would feel very vulnerable.

  21. Michaela Hannah

    October 1, 2017 at 5:57 am

    Yes, i have always travelled around with children from birth so it wouldn’t bother me

  22. Graham Ross

    October 1, 2017 at 7:51 am

    No ,there are parts I wouldn’t even go in during the day

  23. claire woods

    October 1, 2017 at 8:50 am

    No I wouldn’t

  24. Heather Brannan

    October 1, 2017 at 9:40 am

    No, too risky. Your baby is precious cargo and the uncertainty of being out at night alone with your baby is too worrying.

  25. jo liddement

    October 1, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    No it would not be worth taking the risk.

  26. clair downham

    October 1, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    probably not bit too risky

  27. Clare Hubbard

    October 1, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    No, I would be too worried

  28. Corinne Wright

    October 1, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    I don’t think I would no. I worry enough on my own when I’m out in the dark as it is.

  29. Jade Pawley

    October 1, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    Definitely no..

  30. laura banks

    October 1, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    probaby not

  31. Stephanie Keill

    October 1, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Not really at night and on my own. I always worry.

  32. Rebecca Sutton

    October 1, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    i wouldnt really take my child late out at night at anytime, it doent not seem safe like it use to anymore.

  33. isis1981uk

    October 1, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    Yes, I think so, as long as I was sensible about it.

  34. Lorna Ledger

    October 1, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Central London yes, It depends on Public Transport and Wifi links, also how well lit it was

  35. mrzzyzzy

    October 1, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    Don’t live in London so can’t say

  36. Kelly (@kellycloggs)

    October 1, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    No, i dont think its safe in London on your own let alone with a baby!

  37. john prendergast

    October 2, 2017 at 12:09 am

    it all depend on what part of london

  38. Wendy Becker

    October 2, 2017 at 9:27 am

    I,m a Londoner & never had any issues but then i,m a male

  39. Mary H

    October 2, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Yeah I’d have absolutely no problem doing that if I had to. I’d obviously be savvy as to which area I’m in of course, but I’d do that baby or no baby. I’ve lived in big cities all my life though. They’re not as scary as you may think.

    Bummer about missing the event. Totally get why you wouldn’t want to do a million train transfers though. Hope you get your night out soon.

  40. Stevie Fairbairn

    October 2, 2017 at 11:49 am

    I don’t think I’d be comfortable. Only in an emergency.

  41. Judy Kennedy

    October 2, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    yes if I know my route. When i look around it’s the young men i fear for as they are more likely to be the victims of crime and I feel sorry for them at times.

  42. CHRISTINE SUTHERLAND

    October 2, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Definitely not

  43. Louise Asekokhai

    October 2, 2017 at 5:59 pm

    No not really as its so busy.

  44. Kim M

    October 2, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    No, not at all x

  45. mandydoherty65

    October 2, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    Not on my own with a baby I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all

  46. maria blythin

    October 2, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    no i dont think i would anymore x

  47. Isabell Whitenstall

    October 2, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    No I wouldn’t really take a baby anywhere at night.

  48. Victoria Thurgood

    October 2, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    maybe if i wasnt alone

  49. Shirley Evans

    October 2, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    I wouldnt feel comfortable being responsible for a baby at night.I am quite wary myself

  50. Ruth Harwood

    October 3, 2017 at 9:01 am

    I would like to think so, but it all depends on whereabouts in London!

  51. Amy Wright

    October 3, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Not on my own but I would if my husband was with us

  52. Sarah Lewis

    October 3, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    Not with the security threats as they stand at the moment.

  53. Hazel Rea

    October 3, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    I wouldn’t be happy travelling around London at night with a baby – in fact I wouldn’t be happy travelling around London on my own at night.

  54. Isabel O

    October 3, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    I don’t know to be honest. Probably not. Mostly because I was mugged in London as a teenager so I guess I have those memories there to scare me.

  55. kim plant

    October 4, 2017 at 11:33 am

    not now no x

  56. Laura Nice

    October 4, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Not on my own but if i was with my partner yes.

  57. Amanda tanner

    October 4, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    no a d definitely not if I’m alone

  58. melanie stirling

    October 4, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    No I wouldn’t but I don’t go anywhere on my own and I avoid cities wherever possible.

  59. Amanda Baggott

    October 5, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    Definitely not

  60. Sadiyya Maryam

    October 5, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    Aww, you have my total emphaty. I have lived in London since marrying my husband and we travel a lot abroad due to his work. We moved back to London when our daughter was 10 months old. And I really struggled when out and about on the tubes with a pushchair and baby in tow especially when venturing in unfamiliar places especially in the evening. If we had to go I would be so anxious that I wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m so glad your husband understands, mine couldn’t fathom when before I could do all this and now I am cautious. It does get better the older they get and more independent.

    1. Kate Tunstall

      October 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Thank you, I felt so frustrated with myself! But ultimately the pay-off of fun was just not worth the risk and effort involved. It’s not forever, this time will soon pass – all too quickly no doubt!

  61. Angie McDonald

    October 5, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    It would depend on how I was travelling

  62. Sarah Carter

    October 5, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    I think I would be fine travelling with a baby at night time in London xx

  63. Ruth Wollerton

    October 5, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    It would depend how I was travelling and where I was in London. But generally probably not.

  64. Sarah Cuttle

    October 6, 2017 at 9:49 am

    London is just to busy for me.

  65. katrina adams

    October 6, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I don’t think I would feel comfortable travelling alone in London at night, with or without a baby! Perhaps I’m just really paranoid or have watched too many TV shows but I just don’t feel safe.

  66. Natalie Crossan

    October 6, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    No, never have been – I don’t even like it on my own!

  67. Jade Hewlett

    October 7, 2017 at 9:08 am

    No, probably not

  68. Candyfloss

    October 7, 2017 at 11:49 am

    I’m not comfortable traveling in London, full stop! (Angela Kelly)

  69. Claire Elizabeth Noke

    October 10, 2017 at 11:16 am

    Sadly no. I wouldnt feel safe travelling in London during the day either though.

  70. Jodie A Green

    October 10, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Not really, i wouldnt feel comfortable anywhere at night alone with a baby

  71. Hayley Elvin

    October 11, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Not really as I don’t know the area. I’m happy travelling at night in my own city with a baby, but I know which areas to avoid.

  72. libradragon2

    October 14, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    no I don’t think I would be

  73. christine taylor

    October 14, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    If I’m honest, no, I don’t think I would x

  74. Ann-Marie Gould

    October 15, 2017 at 10:53 am

    i don’t even feel safe in London at night let alone with a baby

  75. Carole Nott

    October 15, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    no not really

  76. Lorraine Mabbitt

    October 15, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    No not really

  77. Victoria Polson

    October 15, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    I don’t think that one counts as an irrational anxiety. You feel vunerable as a woman anyway, travelling at night and even more so when you have your baby, who you want to protect with you too. I would feel very uncomfortable. I’m glad your husband was understanding, and I hope your friend was too. It wont be long until you get your much needed night out!

  78. Christina Palmer

    October 15, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    No I wouldn’t feel comfortable. It is unsafe to travel alone at night anywhere so I definitely wouldn’t do it with a baby

  79. Susan B

    October 16, 2017 at 8:31 am

    I lived in London and occasionally had to travel at night with my little one. I had no problem with it other than wanting to get her home for bed as soon as possible.

  80. Katie

    October 16, 2017 at 11:26 am

    Would depend on what part of London

  81. Rachael O'Brien

    October 16, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    I don’t think I would . I’d be worried about pollution, germs/diseases, kidnapping and people bumping buggy as they always in a rush . I took my son to winter wonderland with his older sisters when he was 16 months and on the tube , was scary as hell with buggy !

  82. barbara clarke

    October 17, 2017 at 9:28 am

    having lived in london with a small child i wouldn’t travel at night but i was lucky enough to have a great babysitter so never really had to

  83. Anthea Holloway

    October 17, 2017 at 6:51 pm

    No – definitely not unless absolutely necessary.

  84. Kevin Cannon

    October 17, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    I would be comfortable – more so than if i were travelling alone

  85. Stephanie whitehurst

    October 17, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    I wouldn’t be comfortable

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