This week my husband and I celebrate ten years together. A decade – which means that when we got together that length of time was nearly half my life! It seems like quite a momentous milestone (we’re celebrating with a child-free night – the first time I’ll have left Elfin overnight!). It got me thinking about this man I adore, and that perhaps I don’t always tell him often enough. I’ve read many love messages for husbands, but with the above in mind I wanted to share my alternative love message for my husband.

I also thought I’d share my tips for making a marriage work, with my top one being that you should take your partner for granted.

I’m joking, I wouldn’t presume for a second to have all the answers, and in the grand scheme ten years is a mere blip. But the other bit about taking your significant other for granted? That’s basically true! And because I’m really romantic – ha! – I thought I’d publicly share that with everybody – and encourage you all to do the same!

So, do I really take my husband for granted? In a word, yes

An alternative love letter to my husband - why I take him for granted and don't apologise for it! #loveletters #marriage #marriageadvice #marriagetips #marriedlife #married

I Love You, My Husband, But –

I take you for granted on a daily basis.

But so does everybody really, up to a point. When you leave the house in the morning, do you ever have genuine fear that your other half will not be there when you return home? I’m not talking about the fear of dinner alone with the kids turning into feeding time at the zoo because they’re working late – I mean do you ever truly worry that they will choose not to come back? Or that they’ll get hit by a bus, etc, etc?

Because if you don’t, then you also take your better half for granted, too.

Taking Your Partner For Granted Is Not Always a Bad Thing

Of course this is a healthy way to live, in fact it’s the only way to live unless you’re prepared to invite severe anxiety into your home (I don’t recommend it – been there and it’s not fun). The fact is that something could go wrong in your relationship, but to feel that on a daily basis has a name: insecurity.

Instead, I acknowledge it occasionally, and thank my lucky stars for my husband’s patience and generosity.

Love Message For My Husband: I Appreciate You

He has been there through some of the greatest challenges of my life. When we met I was broken, and during the past ten years he has painstakingly put me back together, given me strength and reinforced me in every possible way. He is the best man I know, and since the moment we first got together, he has been my steadfast champion and supporter.

It’s why he met me halfway down the aisle and we walked the rest side by side – there is nobody else. There never was.

Love Messages for Husbands - Family Photo

Don’t get me wrong, he’s an eejit at times, but he’d definitely say the same about me (he’d be wrong of course).

Consideration Goes a Long Way

I read something recently that resonated with me, but in the most positive way. It’s an article about the disproportionate mental load one half of a partnership takes on (often but not always the female). And it spoke to me because I realised that though I’ve had this exact issue in my marriage in times gone by, I don’t any longer.

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When I started working so much that I literally couldn’t do everything, even before my business became profitable, instead of dismissing my dedication as a waste of time my superstar hubby stepped up so that I felt some pressure lift. I was able to continue putting the hours in to build something which has become a source of fantastic experiences for our family and, over time, an income too. But perhaps most importantly of all, also a cathartic release for me from the very beginning.

Message For Husband / Wife / Partner: Thank You For Being There

So yes, I take my rather wonderful husband for granted by relying on him completely to have my back and never leave us, by trusting him implicitly to continue living this crazy sleep-deprived life with me – because I couldn’t function otherwise. But I also appreciate him and try not to lose sight of how fortunate I am to have somebody who supports me, loves and accepts me the way he does and always has.

Happy anniversary my love – ten years since we met and six years since we married (we wed on the anniversary of the date we met).

Here’s to the next decade; may it feature much fun with the family – and many more dates sans babes, just for us.

Love messages for husbands, wives, and partners don’t have to be sickly sweet to be poignant! Taking my husband for granted is a truth in our relationship that allows our partnership to work – and I have no plans to change that.

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Marriage

An award-nominated blogger and author, Kate is an experienced breastfeeding advocate, and expert baby sleep chaser. Her writing has appeared on Mothercare, Huff Post, and BritMums.

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