My husband and I like to think we’re wise enough to learn from others’ mistakes; some of the time at least. And while our parents didn’t do a bad job (they created us after all, and we like each other quite a lot), there are certainly aspects of their parenting that we would not choose to emulate. I shan’t speak for hubby, but I’d definitely cite my mother’s extreme over-protection.
It’s going to be harder on my husband as our daughter grows. He will have to watch his little girl blossom into a woman, and I can imagine how difficult that will be for him. Unless, of course, he’s equipped with the tools to deal with it ahead of time.
We both love our baby, more than anybody else is capable of doing – it’s written into our DNA. And as an extension of that, I want my daughter’s dad to have an understanding of what she will require from him as her father; I don’t want him to feel inadequate. Most of all, I don’t want him to inadvertently let her down through embarrassment or from being out of his depth.
Sadly, it can take only one awkward exchange to leave father and child unable (or unwilling) to communicate about issues of an intimate nature. And I want better than that for our family. I want our daughter to know – without hesitation – that though for personal matters it may be me she comes to by default, her dad is also an option. If I’m unavailable, she has a reliable alternative.
Ultimately, I want to help foster and nurture an open and profound bond between father and daughter, one that transcends the awkwardness of puberty.
With this in mind, I had an idea for a new regular post:
I’ve agreed that once a week I will answer – honestly – any question my husband puts to me.
Curious? Read on… (Although no prizes for guessing what this first one is, because with hindsight it’s the obvious place for a man to begin when handed this opportunity!)
Naturally, there are several conditions attached:
- I won’t shirk the difficult questions – provided they are asked respectfully and are not unnecessarily personal.
- If he asks me about bodily functions, that’s okay – but I will be responding with the correct terminology, and I expect him to do me the same courtesy.
- He is welcome to confer with pals or colleagues, so long as the above conditions are adhered to.
- From time to time I will turn the tables and he will hijack the blog to answer a question of mine!
- Though I’ll answer honestly, I cannot promise I won’t have a laugh whilst writing my responses. In fact, I will almost certainly find these posts hilarious. Sorry.
We’ve decided that his questions will be directed to me when we are apart, through the medium of text. This is in order to avoid the inevitability of me either howling with mirth; choking at the thought of the task before me; or treating him to my best withering look, and flat-out asking him ‘REALLY?’. I want to take this as seriously myself as I am forcing him to.
So, let us begin…
Ask Me Anything #1
Hubby: What’s it like having boobs?
Me: What can I say? I’m foolish for not seeing this coming. It’s week one, what other question would there possibly be? But, I said I would take all questions seriously and answer honestly – and so I shall.
I’ve a feeling this one is related less to your daughter and more to your wife, ie. me. No matter, either way my answer would be the same: for I am also someone’s daughter, and someday our daughter will be someone’s wife. So perhaps you’ll regret your question, but it’s actually a good starting point.
A girls breasts normally develop at some point during her teens. At this time, how it feels depends largely on the company she’s in. Allow me to expand…
What Is It Like to Have Boobs?
When we’re with our peers, we simply want to be ‘normal’.
When we’re with our family, we wish they’d be less conspicuous.
When we’re with a boy we like, we wish they’d be MORE conspicuous.
Sometimes our breasts can be uncomfortably tender, usually around the time of our period – and because it’s hormonal, during pregnancy they may be actively painful. Equally, our breasts may bring us pleasure; but not all women will experience this. The most pleasure mine have brought me is in providing sustenance to our daughter; lest we forget breastfeeding is their primary function.
That said, they also give us our sense of femininity.
It’s fair to say our breasts are as important, and also as ordinary, as our arms and legs: we forget they’re there until we need them. And yet, they’re so much a part of our identity, that if for any reason we were faced with losing one or both, it would likely be as traumatic as the loss of a limb.
Ultimately, what it’s like to have breasts differs woman to woman; it’s a special and complex relationship.
But if the true question is less ‘what is it like to have boobs?’, and more ‘do we fondle them a lot when we’re alone?’ – you’ll be disappointed. They’re so much more than stress bags.
Like this? You can check out more of my hubby’s ponderings (and my attempts to answer them) here.